Sunday, November 27, 2011

AEDM, Day 27 diary post

Did/Been-Woah! The end of this month gained such momentum that I'm still trying to process it. Whenever that happens, I disappear from cyberspace. Blessings, upheavals, changes.

Back in the studio- Have been working on my latest in the Rebirth of Light series for 4 months now. Birthing this painting seems to be taking forever and I want it out already!! 

Synchronicity- The tune buzzing in my head whenever I create this painting is "Caught a Lite Sneeze" by Tori Amos. That's always my clue as to what the painting is about. My initial internet search brought up false starts. Fans thought it was about her relationship with Trent Reisner, and that didn't resonate with me at all right now so it stayed  a persistent, stuck in my head mystery. Yesterday, I found an audio commentary on youtube with the artist explaining her symbology and there we have it. Exactly it. With those obscure lyrics, I always figured I had no idea what she was talking about.  

Story time- Did you want to know my secrets being exposed in this piece? It's about struggling with the masculine and feminine powers within. For so long I've thought I had to be hard. I'm just starting now to understand and respect the strength in the feminine. 

How I felt- Such a roller coaster of extreme highs, ecstasy, and lows. Receiving understanding for my work in progress made me cry because the power of creating from the subconscious still surprises me. It feels as though it comes from some place separate from me and yet still connected. Also feeling more patient. I've realized I'm going through my own death and rebirth right now. Big stuff. It's OK to be gentle. 

My big challenge- Surrender. Can't quite do it...yet. In life, I mean, but also is probably why this painting has taken 4 freakin' months. Any tips? 


Tracy said...

Been loving following all your post this month, and now catching up after having been off-line at the weekend. Finding strength in the feminine... I can relate to that too in some ways, Shayla. I've always resonated with the "softer" end of the spectrum of femininity. It's really only this year I've come to understand my strength running parallel to the soft--claiming both the feminine and male aspects. It's a process, for sure! I love Tori Amos--what a lyrical & music genius! Can't wait to see more of you work... A tip for getting that out there? Just let it go, gently let it go... ;o) Thanks so much for your very generous thoughts on my new painting. It was fun, amazing work! Happy Week, my friend ((HUGS))

Jason Newcomb said...

*ahem* someone didn't spell Reznor correctly. No biggie.

(pretends not to be slightly offended)

Wild C said...

It's just a thought and it may not be the case at all with you but when I found myself taking forever over a painting last year, I eventually realised I just didn't want to do it! I'd moved on somehow and needed to be doing different work. What a relief when I finally gave myself permission not to finish it!

Off to look for Tori Amos on youtube now...